‘So, where are we going exactly?’ - Sun Rising Natural Burial Ground and Nature Reserve

When faced with death and dying, whether in the roiling storm of anticipation or the harrowing emptiness of grief, words about new life can feel irrelevant and irritating.  Any attempt to soothe by speaking of the cycles of life can unbearable.  There is no doubt, though, that the experience of being within nature during the worst days of our lives can be helpful.  It can somehow relieve the weight of loss.

As a nature reserve, Sun Rising natural burial ground offers just that.  Opened in 2006, with now over 2000 people laid to rest, it is a blend of wildflower meadows, growing woodland and grassland, with ponds and hedgerows, tracks and paths.  Burials can be in the meadow or in areas that will become woodland, where a tree can be planted on the plot beside a small slate plaque.  With the woods of the Cotswold escarpment on one side, and broad views across rural southern Warwickshire on the other, its peace is immensely healing.

Laying a Child to Rest

As such a gentle, natural environment, it can feel a good deal easier to lay a child to rest here than in a churchyard or cemetery, where rows of headstones are a stark and constant reminder of loss.  And as with any other funeral, we encourage families to find the way that feels right for them, doing our best to support whatever is needed. 

Religious, spiritual or humanist beliefs can be incorporated, whether the funeral takes place in church, in our Longhouse or even out in the meadow.  Some need the traditional feel offered by a funeral director, providing the sombre black and ceremonial pace; others want none of that, instead needing their own community of family and friends to hold the space completely, in which case we offer more in terms of arrangements, guidance and care. 

It may be just the two parents present, and we stand at a distance, ready to step forward to help where needed.  A dad may find it cathartic to backfill the grave, a mum wanting to tuck in her ever-sleeping child, which we facilitate but otherwise leave them the privacy of such an acutely intimate and tender moment, allowing all the time they need.

Sometimes it’s a larger gathering, led by a professional funeral celebrant or a friend who has the strength to do so.  There may be siblings, bubbles, music, cake and colour.  Amidst the tears, laughter can break through.

Funerals with Children

When it is not a child, but a much-loved parent, grandparent or great grandparent who has died, Sun Rising can be an easier option for families with children.

Some families are clear that a funeral is not a place for a child, and some don’t bring children because they need to face their own grief undistracted.  However, we have found that families are more likely to bring children to a funeral at Sun Rising than if it were elsewhere.  It tends to be a more informal space; children needn’t be dressed smartly, and an unsettled child can be taken outside to seek butterflies or fossils or sit by the pond.  There isn’t a pall of sadness over the place: it does actually full of life.

Furthermore, if a child has attended the funeral, it can then make more sense to them when they come to visit later.  In a woodland burial area, they may come to plant the memorial tree on the grave and watch it grow, year upon year.   

‘So, where are we going exactly?’

The idea of writing a book for children was suggested by a family whose grandchildren were asking questions.  Written by a group of four, all of whom have a loved one laid to rest at Sun Rising, their love shines through.  It is aimed at 6-10 year olds, but we’ve seen it beautifully and effectively used to support children who are younger and indeed people of all ages.

While most books about death written for children use anthropomorphised animals to explain, ‘So, where are we going exactly?’  is very human.  Taking their grandchildren to natural burial ground, an older couple explain that this is where they themselves would like to be buried, and in the process they answer their grandchildren’s questions and concerns.  It’s a book that helps children to ask those difficult questions, and helps adults to engage in the conversations.

The beautiful artwork by Philip Bannister are watercolour sketches that give a lovely natural feel of the nature reserve on a summer’s day.  It’s not a religious book, but supports any faith or belief system, its foundation being on the inevitability of nature’s cycles.

The book is £7, with all proceeds going to The Friends of Sun Rising, the charity that will care for the site into the long-term future.  For more information, go to https://sunrising.co.uk/products/ and click on The Children’s Book tab.

For more information about Sun Rising and the services offered, please explore the website more generally, https://sunrising.co.uk, or call on 01295 688488.

Shared by Emma Restall Orr